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11-Dec-2017 07:17

Susanna Kaysen, who wrote about her teenage depression in the bestseller Girl, Interrupted, now takes on another taboo: her vagina–which suddenly and inexplicably starts to hurt. Then she goes past again, only this time she’s back in her own, middle-aged woman thoughts. I remember reading this years ago and knowing, absolutely, even though I was in my early twenties at the time, that this was true. Whether our existence really is our own or only relational–only activated by male interest. I think one reason there’s more discussion of male sexuality lately is that there is now something to DO about impotence.

And neither Kaysen’s cheery gynecologist, nor her internist, nor a laconic “vulvologist” has the cure. Kaysen painstakingly constructs her own brilliant vagina monologue.” –Elle“Hilarious . Q: There’s been much openness about male sexuality lately, erectile dysfunction and so forth, yet female sexuality has remained somewhat taboo. There’s, plainly speaking, money to be made from impotence, because there’s a pill for it. I’m all for the secret quality of women’s erotic lives.

Using this unusual lens, Kaysen challenges us to think in new ways about the centrality and power of sexuality. We don’t have a firm reason for existence if we’re not sexually attractive. You have only to look at the usual suspects–advertising, movies, TV, etc.–to see that it’s true. She goes around the corner and she rearranges herself, she turns herself into a "woman." She improves her posture and fluffs up her hair and walks past them again with the desire to be attractive.

One video released Tuesday shows an Eagles player dunking on an unsuspecting student in line, while another released Wednesday features a student riding his bike and getting posterized on a sunny day.

An alternative health nurse suggests direct application of tea, baking soda, and boric acid. When there’s a pill for a female orgasm, we’ll hear a lot more about female sexuality. I don’t think it’s a bad thing that women’s sexuality remains obscure, veiled, medically opaque and conversationally taboo. Women have an unfortunate physiological capacity to engage in sexual relations that are of little or no interest to us. Then I go writing this book, undercutting my own argument.

Others recommend novocaine, oatmeal, “bio-feedback,” and anti-depressants. As sex becomes more and more painful, Kaysen’s relationship with her boyfriend disintegrates and she turns to her best friends, her wicked sense of humor, and finally wry self-reflection to get herself through. And I don’t think there ever will be, because female orgasm seems to be much more complicated than male orgasm. One of the only powers women have over men, now that we seem to have lost the power to say No to sex, is that men do not actually know if women are enjoying themselves in bed. Our erotic workings are hidden, and men have to rely on our reports to a large extent. This drives some men crazy, this idea that we might be faking. But actually, I don’t think my book tells all that much.

A person who has recently lost someone they care about may benefit from talking to them at the end of the day, or smelling their perfume/aftershave.

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